Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
