why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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