yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
They are going to name an STD after you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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