How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
