He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
