i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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