Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
