Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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