Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
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