Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
