how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
