I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
