If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
