How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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