You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
