good thing vaginas are great cup holders
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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