none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
