if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
