I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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