clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
