And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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