is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
