What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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