this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
