id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
