I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
