Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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