i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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