I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
