You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
