ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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