remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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