Bisexual people are plain selfish.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
