if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
