I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
