oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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