To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
