i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
