Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
