you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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