she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
