On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
as a side note pls kill me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
