I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
