shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
True but thats because hes a fetus.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
