Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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