i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
