my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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