woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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