the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
