Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
